SouthFlorida.com | City Link Magazine

Biologically, men have to spread their seed. Male animals from carpenter ants to killer whales are driven by the need to bonk desirable females -- though they will settle for less-desirable ones after a few sixers in a slow mating season. Monogamy, therefore, would appear to run counter to human nature, yet we continue to make a go of it, high divorce rate and the lure of Angelina Jolie be damned.

This dichotomy does not have to be a deal breaker for couples, however. Thanks to our big, ol' brains, we have an advantage over animals: With our several pounds of gray matter, we can negotiate with our partners and develop open but safe relationships.

Arlen Leight (Doctorleight.com), a psychotherapist and certified sexologist from Oakland Park, leads a seminar three times a year called Cheating by the Rules. Even though the seminar is designed for gay couples, he says heterosexuals can benefit from it, too.

"I recommend five general ground rules," Leight explains. "The couples have to determine the rest of the rules on their own."

Rule No. 1: Write up a contract that includes terms to which you both agree. This is where most people go wrong. You can't just get drunk and naked in the back of a Toyota Camry with a stranger and later tell your partner, "We should have an open relationship."

Rule No. 2: You can't break up for the duration of the contract. This is to ensure that you're only out getting laid, not looking for a new boyfriend or girlfriend. Remember, this is about sexual exploration. It isn't about shopping around for a better mate or seeking out someone with a larger wang and bigger bank account.

Rule No. 3: Don't discuss relationship secrets with outside sexual partners. For example, don't tell the guy or gal you're having sex with, "Did you know Joe is only 4 inches?" or "Kristy has a smelly ass."

Rule No. 4: Practice safe sex. An awful thing to do to a long-term partner is bring home some sort of nasty genital bumps or, even worse, a deadly virus. It's not polite to give your significant other AIDS in pursuit of getting off.

Rule No. 5: If you and your partner haven't been using protection up to this point, decide if you're going to start. It's highly recommended at this point because the situation isn't a one-on-one anymore. Many STIs and STDs can be transmitted even while wearing a jimmy hat.

These are the five rules of stepping out on your mate. Use them wisely.