From the South Florida Sun-Sentinel

Kicking it bold school

Beer in dorms, bars within walking distance and sex in libraries: South Florida's campuses have far more to offer than just labs and classrooms.

August 22 2007

Choosing a college is easy if you're just looking for the best engineering or MBA program. But when it comes to more important questions such as, "How close is the nearest Pollo Tropical?" or "Am I allowed to bring stray ducks up to my dorm room?" things can get a little tricky. So we've canvassed our local campuses and compiled a list of the really vital information — Wi-Fi service, cool factor, closest college bars, best places to have public sex, etc. For instance, Florida Atlantic University's student handbook doesn't even mention that the tiny study rooms on the fourth floor of the library are just big enough for threesomes. Read on.

BARRY UNIVERSITY

Web site: Barry.edu

On-campus restaurants: Grill 155 in the Landon Student Union and the Buc Stop Cafe

Dorm restrictions: The only pets welcome are fish in a 10-gallon tank. No alcohol is allowed in the freshman residences, but as long as you're legal, feel free to imbibe.

Coolness of location: OK, let's face it, not even the residential life director we spoke to could make Barry's location sound exciting. C'mon, the place is called "Barry."

Wi-Fi: The library, Thompson Hall and the Landon Student Union are Wi-Fi-accessible.

Proximity to good bars and nightclubs: While many students opt to go right to South Beach, Barry is a few blocks from restaurants, bars and shops on 125th Street, including Luna Star Café, which has an amazing selection of beers and features live acoustic performers. The Museum of Contemporary Art, also on 125th, features some very hip exhibits and a monthly outdoor music event.

Best place to have sex: We recommend asking the hooker we saw trolling 125th on a recent evening.

BROWARD COMMUNITY COLLEGE (CENTRAL CAMPUS)

Web site: Broward.edu

On-campus restaurant: Central Park Cafe

Dorm restrictions: N/A

Coolness of location: Alumni Marilyn Manson and Mayor Jim Naugle disqualify this school from receiving a coolness rating, not to mention BCC's ridiculous TV spots in which everyone talks about getting "gobsmacked"

by BCC.

Wi-Fi: It's easy to set up your laptop and get online quickly and the computers here are fast, as well.

Proximity to good bars and nightclubs: Davie Ale House and Raw Bar, Ruby Tuesdays, Roadhouse Grill, Chili's and The Olive Garden

Best place to have sex: We suggest asking Manson or Naugle, both of whom have some expertise in public-sex issues. We hear the students are now referring to sex as

"getting gobsmacked."

FLORIDA ATLANTIC UNIVERSITY

Web site: Fau.edu

On-campus restaurants: The new Breezeway Marketplace will open Thursday with Wendy's, Mama Leone's Pizzeria, Quiznos, Bamboo Asian Cuisine, Chick-N-Grill, Salsarita's Fresh Cantina, and Outtakes convenience store. Also on campus: Einstein Bros. Bagels, Starbucks, The Hub and Coyote Jack's.

Dorm restrictions: Alcohol is not allowed in residence halls but student apartments on the east side of campus permit alcohol for residents of legal drinking age.

Coolness of location: Slim to none. The main campus is in Boca Raton, after all.

Wi-Fi: Yes, but the service is spotty at best.

Proximity to good bars and nightclubs: Duffy's Bar and Grill, Murphy's Downtown and the on-campus bar Coyote Jack's Bar and Grill are student-friendly.

Best place to have sex: The study rooms inside the main campus library. Strip down and study really, really hard.

FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL UNIVERSITY

On-campus restaurants: Pollo Tropical, Subway, Burger King, C3 Breezeway Cafe, Bustelo Cafe, Sushi, Camille's Sidewalk Cafe, Starbucks, Bene Pizzeria, Einstein Bros. Bagels and The Fresh Food Company

Web site: Fiu.edu

Dorm restrictions: The dicks in the Complex Office won't take personal messages or packages for residents. Plus, overnight guests with cars must register with the office, so there go your discreet sleepovers with hot faculty members.

Coolness of location: Well, this place was cool till the Complex Office took over.

Wi-Fi: N/A

Proximity to good bars and nightclubs: Skip the bars and head to the Southern Wine and Spirits Beverage Management Center on the Biscayne Bay campus. Then, immediately change your major to hospitality management. Nobody at FIU knows how to party like hospitality students.

Best place to have sex: The Complex Office — and don't clean up afterward.

LYNN UNIVERSITY

Web site: Lynn.edu

On-campus restaurants: Christine's Café and Knight's Court

Dorm restrictions: Lynn "does not consider the use of alcohol beverages as necessary to the process of higher education," yet students can still drink in their rooms. Diving from the top of the lifeguard stand into the pool is not permitted. Crock-Pots, bongs, trees and fog machines are also not allowed. A fish is OK, but don't feed raccoons in your room.

Coolness of location: How much cooler can you get than Boca Raton? Just kidding.

But if you can afford to attend Lynn, you'll probably enjoy being able to valet your car

at the Town Center mall and be in and out

of American Eagle quicker than you can

say, "Could you bring my G35 around

front pronto?"

Wi-Fi: Even poolside

Proximity to good bars and nightclubs: College Night with garbage fries and Day-

Glo shooters at Murphy's Downtown Saloon

is a must. Other nearby nightspots include

the Nakava Kava Bar and for dancing,

Club Ninety9.

Best place to have sex: The pool's lifeguard stand

MIAMI DADE COLLEGE

(WOLFSON CAMPUS)

Web site: Mdc.edu

On-campus restaurant: Off the Grill

Dorm restrictions: N/A

Coolness of location: The Wolfson Campus is smack in the heart of downtown Miami, so it's a short jog across Biscayne Boulevard to Bayfront Park and the American Airlines Arena. Metrorail drops you right on the campus' doorstep.

Wi-Fi: The majority of buildings have Wi-Fi, and the ones that don't are being updated. But there are places in even the older buildings you can tap your laptop.

Proximity to good bars and nightclubs: South Beach beckons from across Biscayne Bay, and mainland haunts include the nearby Design District as well as funky, old Tobacco Road. Bayside Market Place also has plenty of restaurants and bars.

Best place to have sex: Engage in a little risky business and get busy on the Metrorail.

NOVA UNIVERSITY

Web site: Nova.edu

On-campus restaurants: The Rosenthal dining hall, the library cafe, the Law Center cafe and several kiosks spread around campus

Dorm restrictions: No pets, aside from a 10-gallon fish tank, and don't fill it with gerbils because the resident assistants are highly trained professionals who know the difference between fish and mammals.

For residents 21 and older, the booze can flow. Smoking and electric guitars, however, are not permitted.

Coolness of location: The Bergeron Rodeo Grounds are within boot-scootin' distance.

Wi-Fi: Most buildings have strong coverage and the signal blasts out into the quads, allowing the most-addicted Web nerds to

stay connected.

Proximity to good bars and nightclubs: The Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino is 4.3 miles away.

Best place to have sex: Unfortunately, the dorms. Campus security keeps a tight grip on the place.

PALM BEACH COMMUNITY COLLEGE

(LAKE WORTH CAMPUS)

Web site: Pbcc.cc.fl.us

On-campus restaurants: Strictly cafeteria, but Wendy's and Wings Plus are just a quick longboard ride across the street.

Dorm restrictions: N/A

Coolness of location: Lake Worth is so cool the Guardian Angels patrol it.

Wi-Fi: PAW (PantherLink Access Wireless) provides service here. The name is so awesome it sounds like it will never work, but the company swears it's flawless.

Proximity to good bars and nightclubs: Wings Plus serves beer.

Best place to have sex: The campus art gallery is always deserted and cries out for students to have sex in front of the neo-Renaissance Resurrection paintings.

UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI

Web site: Miami.edu

On-campus restaurants: The Hurricane Food Court, Salsarita's Fresh Cantina, Niko's Sandwich Shop, Panda Express, Market Square, Mango and Manny's Marketplace, Wendy's, Jamba Juice, Olo Sushi., Sbarro's, Jenkins Snack Bar, Storm Surge Café, Starbucks, Satellite Carts, Faculty Club, Wellness Center Juice Bar and Subway

Dorm restrictions: Alcohol is not

permitted in open areas on campus, but it's cool to drink in your dorm. However, kegs, funnels and punches made with liquor are not allowed. Parties in which 10 or more people are present is limited to canned beer or

wine coolers.

Coolness of location: In the heart of Coral Gables, with South Beach and Coconut Grove only short drives away

Wi-Fi: N/A

Proximity to good bars and nightclubs: See "coolness of location" above.

Best place to have sex: The back row of the Gusman Concert Hall