From the South Florida Sun-Sentinel

Best Restaurant When Your Worst Enemy Is Paying

October 18 2006

Cafe Martorano
3343 E. Oakland Park Blvd., Fort Lauderdale, 954/561-2554, Cafemartorano.com

"Say, Chip, I'm glad we can put behind us the fact that you cleaned out my bank account and I slept with your girlfriend -- excuse me, girlfriends. … What's that? Yeah, there's no menu here. The waiter just tells you what they have this evening, and you order what you like. … Expensive? Ho, ho! This'll set us back hundreds at the least, Chip. I've eaten at some of the best places in South Florida, and none comes close to touching the prices here. But don't worry; I got it. I mean, I've managed to bounce back a little since you stole my life's savings and blew it in Vegas on expensive hookers and cheap cocaine. Can I recommend the veal shank? It's absolutely superb. … Well, that certainly was a delicious meal, Chip. And the three bottles of wine were simply glorious. I particularly enjoyed the $650 magnum of 1997 Opus One that you ordered after you learned I was paying. … Bitter? Surely not, my friend. Now, if you'll excuse me a moment, I have to use the restroom. … Why, yes, of course I'll be back. I wouldn't dream of sticking you with a bill, Chip. Not after all we've been through together."