Long live the Beatles, No sorry, we mean the Heatles.
The Miami Heat players took center stage Monday night at the Fillmore Miami Beach for Battioke, a charity/karaoke benefit for the Take Charge Foundation, and organzied by Shane Battier and his wife, Heidi.
Although the karaoke party takes place every year, there’s always surprises --- really, where else can you see several Heat players sing at once (could that be good thing? We’re asking you, D-Wade.) It was a fun night, filled with a lot of out-of-tune crooning and some very “Blurred Lines.”
Speaking of the Robin Thicke hit, Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Udonis Haslem donned “Heatles” shirts and sang Thicke’s sexy song. Folks, the range was out of key, but nonetheless entertaining, especially when their girlfriends and wives sashayed across the stage.
The ladies had their own bootyshaking time in the spotlight when they sang Sir-Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back.” Actress Gabrielle Union, aka D-Wade’s fiancee, was the star. But hey, she’s an actress, right?
This year’s surprise – and someone who looked very small next to a bunch of b-ball players – was Ken Jeong. Jeong (in a blonde wig) sung “Patience” by Guns N Roses - but not as himself - instead as a very angry Mr. Chow, the character he made famous in the “Hangover” franchise.
Other highlights of the night:
Shane Battier opened with the Backstreet’s Boy’s “I Want It That Way.” He was joined onstage by Greg Oden and a silly Jeong.
The headturner award belongs to James Jones’ solo performance. Complete with props, he belted out Sisqo’s “The Thong Song.” Like a scene out of a Vevo video, Jones, who wore a silver wig, tore off his pants and stripped down to a pair of slinky tights. Earlier in the evening, he got busy onstage with Norris Cole for a rendition of Jay-Z and Justin Timberlakes’ “Holy Grail.” All jokes aside, Jones can sing, and boy, Cole can rap.
LeBron and Michael Beasley rapped to Juvenile’s “Back That A-- Up.” You may recall LeBron’s attempt at a rap career. He and the Beas didn’t do too bad, although it wasn’t the biggest crowdpleaser. At least they still have their day jobs.
LeBron – who was trying to get the audience on their feet – helped Toney Douglas by doing a sexy stripper dance to Douglas’ version of Montell Jordan’s freaky song, “Let’s Ride.” LeBron’s moves match his on-court style. Is he the"King" of everything?
Last year's Battioke champion, Chris Bosh, asked his fans to do the “Carlton” and dance along to Tom Jones’ “It’s Not Unusual.” He also performed an odd version off the “The Humpty Dance” by Digital Underground. We loved the plastic nose he wore as part of his getup.
Jimmy Buffet (who bid and threw down close to $25,000 on a champagne bottle from the 2013 NBA Championship) sang Marvin Gaye’s “I Heard It Through the Grapevine” along with Ray Allen, Mario Chalmers, Jones, and Pat Riley. (Note to those who missed it: Riley sang better than Buffet. Honest).
Gabrielle Union had her "Moment in Time" when she sang Garth Brook's "Friends in Low Places." Meanwhile, her hubby-to-be D-Wade took to the stage for the second time (push-ups included) along with almost shirtless LeBron ( he changed outfits and wore a vest) and Bosh for their take on Jodeci's "Come and Talk to Me." Ooh la la. Come-hither, boys.
Close to midnight, the Heatlets finished off with "Get Low," a hit by Lil Jon and the Eastsidz Boyz.
But really, when do the playoffs start again?