Note to self: When Kathy Griffin calls, answer the phone.
Earlier this week, a malfunctioning ringer prevented me from hearing Griffin's call at our appointed interview time. When I reached her 10 minutes later, the comedian pounced. "Glad you could make it," she said. "What, were you sexting Justin Bieber like every other woman down there?"
The Emmy-winning Griffin, known for starring in TV specials in which she shares stories about her outrageous encounters with celebrities, will perform Thursday at Hard Rock Live at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino.
When she played the venue last year, her pal Gloria Estefan joined her onstage. This time around, she hopes a star of Bravo's "Real Housewives of Miami" will show up.
"Let me tell you, 'Real Housewives of Miami,' [Bravo] whipped that s--- into gear fast. Remember they did Season 1, and it was too boring, and they canceled it. And then, they went on a two-year hiatus, and in Season 2, they just added Joanna Krupa, and they all just started fighting," Griffin says. "That's how you get a pick-up over there at Bravo. I am a little nervous if any of them show up, they might just start a fistfight in the audience."
Griffin, whose Bravo show "My Life on the D-List" helped push her into A-list status, says a lot about the Sunshine State makes her anxious.
"First of all, I want to congratulate you and the entire state of Florida for being the second-craziest state only after Arizona," she says. "But I'm looking at your website, and I do enjoy that you publish the mug shots of the weekend. It's nice to know before I arrive if I see any handsome young men, I can say, 'Give me a second and let me go on the Sun Sentinel website to see if you've been arrested.' "
Griffin says she will spare no celebrity on Thursday, including a beloved Miami Heat champ.
"Yes, I'm going to be making fun of LeBron James right to the audience's faces," Griffin says. "And here's why: Guess who made more money than LeBron last year? Judge Judy. You should find a man like Judge Judy, because she's a badass."
Kathy Griffin will perform 8 p.m. Thursday, July 11, at Hard Rock Live at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, 5700 Seminole Way, in Hollywood. Go to HardRockLiveHollywoodFL.com.