Will the real Bill Clinton please stand up?

News that Bill Clinton and Bill Clinton imitator Darrell Hammond are coming to South Florida in the next couple of months is troubling for those of us who can’t tell one entertainer from the other. Here are a few ways to distinguish Clinton from Hammond:

Clinton became famous playing “Heartbreak Hotel” on the saxophone on “The Arsenio Hall Show,” not playing Sean Connery on the “Saturday Night Live” send-up of “Jeopardy” (failing in the category “Drummers Named Ringo”).

Clinton once said, “The best social program is a good job,” but never, as far as we can determine, “Suck it, Trebek.”

Clinton wrote the best seller “Back to Work: Why We Need Smart Government for a Strong Economy,” not the best seller “God, If You’re Not Up There, I’m F---ed.”

Clinton once appeared as the real President of the United States, but not, according to imdb.com, as a fictional doctor in “Scary Movie 5.”

Clinton will receive the inaugural Joe DiMaggio American Icon Award on Jan. 24 at Nova Southeastern University in Davie. For ticket information, call Craig Cohen at 954-265-7241 or email CRCohen@MHS.net.

Hammond will host the annual “Old Bags Luncheon” on Feb. 27 at The Breakers in Palm Beach, a fundraiser for the Center for Family Services, with tickets $350. Call Stanton Collemer at 561-616-1257, or email: SCollemer@ctrfam.org. More info: ctrfam.org.

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