In his first visit to Hard Rock Live Friday night, the comic showed that he continues to laugh at life in granular detail, right down to the way a friend shakes her blue (or pink or yellow) packet to free up every crystal while feigning interest in what you have to say during the ceremony that precedes the modern cup of coffee.
Seinfeld will reprise his act at the Hard Rock on Saturday. Here’s some of what we picked up last night:
He looks great, according to a small sample of females in the car on the way home. Trim, crisp blue suit and tie… OK, yeah, we’ll agree, he looked fine. At some point you expect him to resemble Frank Costanza, but, at 58, he’s not there yet.
His hit TV show focused on a quartet of supercilious singles who were allergic to children, but Seinfeld’s stuff about his wife and three kids just kills, and women in the audience seemed to be laughing the loudest. In a sincere (we think) argument in favor of marriage, he imagines a friend enthusiastically equating it to his own life with a girlfriend. “A girlfriend? You’re playing wiffle ball, my friend,” Seinfeld said, comparing marriage to a tour in Iraq. “I’m taking live rounds.”
Children, he reminds us with a sinister glare, are only here to replace us. “The first words a baby says are ‘Mama, Dada and bye-bye.’ Then, baby to parent: “We’ll see who ends up wearing the diapers around here.”
He does the abstract joke he mentioned in a recent New York Times profile, which begins, “Marriage is a bit of a chess game, except the board is made of flowing water and the pieces are made of smoke.” The applause was enthusiastic. He also did his “currently in development” riff on the revolutionary influence of the Pop-Tart (why would his mother even attempt to make a meal after the invention of the Pop-Tart?). It’s an extended piece, and hilarious.
He’s still a box-office force, with sell-outs both Friday and Saturday night. On Friday, Miami Dolphins coach Joe Philbin and comic Kevin James were on the list to be snuck into the celebrity seats after the lights went down. Local radio funnyman Paul Castronovo was also seen in the beer line.
The opener, actor-comic Tom Papa, was very funny, traversing a lot of the same idiot-dad, dumb-ass husband terrain that Seinfeld surveys. If you're going on Saturday, be in your seat for Papa.
File photo: Getty Images