Toddler to Preschool
By Karen Deerwester
SouthFlorida.com
July 24 2007
Learn how to teach empathy and acceptance to your children.
Simple explanations
A little information goes a long way. Choose inoffensive, descriptive statements. For example: "People use wheelchairs to help them to get around," "That's a specially trained guide dog, and we can't pet him now because he's working" or "Yes, people have different skin color; they also have different hair and eyes and shapes."
Don't teach anything you will need to unteach at a later time, even if your child doesn't understand what you're explaining at the time. Stick with short, true statements; for example: "Girls can do everything boys can do." Your child may not be ready to understand, but you will immerse your child in atmosphere of respectful messages.
Teach etiquette by explaining the right time and the right place. Be prepared to explain to your child that sometimes words and actions can hurt other people's feelings. You can say, "It's not polite to stare at someone" and then whisper to your child that you can talk about it later. And of course, remember to talk about it later, or you will be teaching your child shame and secrecy, the opposite of acceptance. You're first reaction may be to "shush" your child away out of embarrassment. Instead, try to calmly point out to your child that some words may make another person feel bad.
Teach empathy
When you have the time to talk in depth, invite your child to imagine what it feels like to experience the world from another person's perspective. Maybe an older person can use help carrying something. Maybe a person with a disability would like to talk about how they learned to do things a different way. This is also the opportunity to talk about how the other person is the same. Your child then learns to make a connection through differences to a humanity that is shared.
Create an inclusive world around your child. Most importantly, don't wait for your child to be surprised by diversity in the world. Whether it's in your own community, through travel, through the media, or through books and toys that you have in your home, let your child experience diversity naturally.
Go to playgrounds and events that reflect a variety of cultures. Buy toys and books that reflect a variety of people and cultures. Now is the perfect time to open your child's eyes and heart to living in a richly, diverse world.
Karen Deerwester is the owner of Family Time Coaching & Consulting, writing and lecturing on parenting and early childhood topics since 1984. Currently, she is the Mommy & Me director at the Ruth and Edward Taubman Early Childhood Center at B'nai Torah Congregation in Boca Raton. Her book, The Potty Training Answer Book, was released this year.r.
