SouthFlorida.com | Teen Link South Florida

Why do I hate South Florida?

I hate it because when the day begins, I take less than two steps outside my front door before I am drenched in salty, slick sweat.

I walk through this humid atmosphere (so thick I could cut it with a knife) to my vehicle, fully prepared to blast the A/C, and soon find the traffic on the way to my destination is bumper-to-bumper for miles.

Then, when I break free from the jungle of mufflers and headlights (but never turn signals), it is impossible to find an open parking space, nevermind a free one.

After finally acquiring a parking space and being yelled at in several languages, I head into the store of my choice.

Unfortunately, I am not greeted with a friendly hello or smile or even a quick attempt to make eye contact.

No, I am left to wander the aisles of overpriced goods alone, with only cold directions written in Spanish and then English to guide me.

When I finally find my desired goods, I encounter an Ice Queen at checkout.

Still, mission accomplished. I head to my next Florida adventure: the beach.

Florida is known for its beaches. Why? I'm not exactly sure. After fighting the beasts of the parking lots once again, I step onto what is often portrayed as cool, white sand. Only the cool white sand is about 100 degrees and is littered with bottle caps, broken glass and jagged seashells.

But as I trek toward the perfect sunbathing spot, I remain hopeful, knowing the cool water will sooth my now-burning soles. I drop my belongings off on my towel and head toward the sea.

Alas, it is no more cool or soothing than a bath tub — the water is nearly as warm as the sand.

After bathing in the hot water for a bit, I give up on the whole day and head home, charred and defeated.

I walk through the door and find my family watching a baseball game on TV. It is the Florida Marlins playing without Dontrelle Willis or Miguel Cabrera, and I realize Florida is also seriously lacking in the professional sports arena.

"Isn't there anything in Florida worthwhile?" I think as I lay face-down on my couch, conquered completely.

But when I turn my head, I see it: My dad stands and cheers for his favorite home team, my brother and sister jump along with him, and I see my mom in the kitchen, smiling.

Perhaps South Florida does have a positive aspect. Because despite the heat, humidity, hurricanes, traffic and sub-par beaches, this is where my home is, where my family lives. So for now, my heart begrudgingly belongs in South Florida.