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Art Basel 2016 survival guide

Every edition of Art Basel is an exercise in being judicious. Is the granddaddy fair at Miami Beach Convention Center really better than a night of free music and cocktails? Will it be another Romero Britto sculpture or a showcase of the past 150 years of French lingerie? Skillfully navigating the traffic nightmare of Miami Art Week means accepting that you'll miss countless rooftop parties, concerts and white-tented fairs.

So here, now, is our survival manual to Miami Art Week and Art Basel Miami Beach 2016. We've highlighted eight events to visit between Nov. 28 and Dec. 4, the musicians visiting South Florida, the newest satellite fairs and the best ways to navigate traffic and parking. We even threw in a "WTF" section, because some events can't be explained.

Miami Art Week highlights

Here are eight can't-miss highlights events during Miami Art Week.

Lingerie Francaise

10 a.m.-9 p.m. Nov. 28; 10 a.m.-7 p.m. Nov. 29; and 10 a.m.-9 p.m. Nov. 30-Dec. 6 at the Sagamore Hotel, 1671 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Free with RSVP to Eventbrite.com.

We're going for journalistic reasons, naturally, but this retrospective of French lingerie from the past 150 years ought to raise a few eyebrows. The show, including 100 pieces and drawn from the collections of 11 French manufacturers, will also present "holographic sequences" charting the evolution of French lingerie, along with video installations and photos. The display will be accompanied by a photo exhibit featuring female artists titled "Femme Fatale."

Hive Pop Up Lounge

4 p.m.-1 a.m. Nov. 30; 4 p.m.-3 a.m. Dec. 1; 3 p.m.-3 a.m. Dec. 2; noon-3 a.m. Dec. 3; and noon-9 p.m. Dec. 4 at Mana Wynwood, 2250 NW Second Ave., Miami. Free. HiveWynwood.com.

Mana Wynwood will host a cocktail-centric shindig, featuring a pop-up lounge and cocktail wizardry from Wynwood mixologists, along with a fleet of 16 food trucks and a skate park designed by artist Andrew Shoultz. A sculpture garden flanks the bar with music and art installations.

Miami Street Photography Festival

10 a.m.-10 p.m. Dec. 1-3 and noon-5 p.m. Dec. 4 at HistoryMiami, 101 W. Flagler St., Miami. Free exhibit, talks during Miami Art Week, $175-$1,500 for workshops; 305-375-1492 or MiamiStreetPhotographyFestival.org.

Five photography judges handpicked the 93 finalists in this international competition from about 4,000 entries. The results highlight photogenic people and animals around Miami and beyond, shown milling about their daily lives. The exhibit, which closes Jan. 15, includes workshops, talks and portfolio reviews.

Basel House

4 p.m.-5 a.m. Nov. 30 and noon-5 a.m. Dec. 1-4 at Bitter Truth, 3252 NE First Ave., No. 124, Miami. Free, and RSVP includes free drink between 4 and 6 p.m. each night; Eventbrite.com and BaselHouse.com.

A celebration that's skipping Wynwood this year, Basel House will pop up at Midtown cocktail bar Bitter Truth for four nights of free concerts and mural-art battles from locals Didi, Hermes Berrio, Jon Lee, Jona Cerwinske, Trek 6 and Don Rimx. New this year: Canvas Cakes, a pastrymaking contest.

"Ayana Evans: Gurl, I'd Drink Your Bath Water"

11 a.m.-7 p.m. Nov. 29-Dec. 11 at Prizm Art Fair, 7230 NW Miami Court, Miami. $5-$15 daily, $50 for festival pass; 954-372-6241 or PrizmArtFair.com.

At Prizm, the Little Haiti satellite fair touting Africa-centric art, the work that intrigues us most is Ayana Evans' feminist-leaning performance-art project. Evans will deliver a performance that riffs on the catcall, "You're so fine, I'd drink your bath water," from 6:45 to 7:15 p.m. Dec. 1, using set pieces that include a bathtub, water and dishwashing soap.

South Florida Web Fest

Noon-6 p.m. Dec. 1-3, noon-4 p.m. Dec. 4 at Little Haiti Cultural Center, 212 NE 59th Terrace, Miami. $15-$100 via SoFloWebFest.com.

During this inaugural festival, filmmakers will screen 27 web series and shorts from the United States, Canada, France, Australia and elsewhere. Kicking off the screenings is a fitting short for the venue, Dudley Alexis' "Soup Jomu," which profiles the Haitian tradition of celebrating freedom with pumpkin soup. The festival will also include an awards ceremony, virtual-reality-themed panels and a block party in partnership with the new satellite fair Now or Neverland Art Fair: Urban Uproar Edition.

Jen Clay

2-11 p.m. Dec. 1; 1-11 p.m. Dec. 2-3; and 1-8 p.m. Dec. 4 at Superfine! The Fairest Fair, 56 NE 29th St., Miami. $7.77-$33.33; Superfine.World.

Clay, a rising Fort Lauderdale multimedia artist whose bizarre-meets-grotesque soft sculptures and Claymation videos this year added pleasant weirdness to FAT Village and Girls' Club Collection, will have a prominent perch during the satellite fair Superfine! The Fairest Fair. Worth your attention: Clay's interactive piece "Squatterpopup," a 1973 Shasta camper filled with videos and a hand-sewn pair of lips. Other Miami artists will exhibit alongside Clay, including duo Nice'N Easy, painter Eurydice and sculptor Alejandro Franco.

"Steve Parker: Traffic Jam"

4 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 3 at Miami Dade College Wolfson Campus, Parking Lot 1 between Fifth and Sixth streets, in Miami. (Gates open 3 p.m.). Free. 305-237-3010 or MDCLiveArts.org.

The Austin-based trombonist says he understands our Basel-related traffic woes, and to prove it, Parker will make music with Miami's snarl of honking horns and revving engines. "Traffic Jam" is an orchestra of traffic noises, in which a procession of vehicles driven by local artists will cruise into a blockwide parking lot at Miami Dade College. Highlights: a musical score created from wheelchair parts donated by local mixed-ability troupe Karen Peterson and Dancers; an interactive xylophone built from car hoods and parts by North Miami couple Randy Burman and Manita Brug-Chmielenska; and a gang of skateboarding ukulele players from Miami musicians Inlets Ensemble.

New satellite fairs

A satellite fair is any pop-up tent of contemporary art that isn't Art Basel Miami Beach. All told, 25 air-conditioned art fairs will orbit the main draw at the Miami Beach Convention Center, an impossibly high number to conquer in one week. The old standbys are back — Art Miami, Context, Aqua, Red Dot — and five new ones will appear around the county.

Faena Art

2-6 p.m. Nov. 27 along Collins Avenue between 32nd and 36th Streets ("Tide by Side"); 4 and 8 p.m. Nov. 28-29 at Faena Forum, 3300-3398 Collins Ave., Miami Beach ("Once Without Me, Once With Me"); and noon-4 p.m. Nov. 29-Dec. 4 on Miami Beach at 32nd Street ("Time Capsule"). Free; FaenaArt.com

Less a fair than a handful of commissioned art events, Faena Art is the brainchild of Ximena Caminos, wife of Argentinian developer Alan Faena, who is developing the six-block Faena District on Collins Avenue. Faena Art is anchored by a Nov. 27 event titled "Tide by Side," a street parade with performances by Cuban conga group Los Carpinteros, the 305 Street Band marching band, classical choir Nu Deco Ensemble and food trucks. There is also "Once Without Me, Once With Me," a commissioned dance for the Miami City Ballet School, and "Time Capsule," the Juan Gatti-designed geodesic dome on the beach.

Now or Neverland Art Fair: Urban Uproar Edition

6-9 p.m. Nov. 26 at Chef Creole Performance Park, 200 NW 54th St., Miami and 3-9 p.m. Dec. 1-4 at Little Haiti Cultural Complex, 212 NE 59th Terrace, Miami. $15-$40; Muce305.org and Eventbrite.com.

A partnership with Haitian seafood franchise Chef Creole, this fair rounds up 40 local and international artists, with works themed around cultural identity in urban landscapes. One of those artists is Miami painter Anthony Lumpkin, who explores the black male experience in America. The fair, organized by the Miami Urban Contemporary Experience, will also offer photo exhibits at African Heritage Cultural Center, the South Florida Web Fest at Little Haiti Cultural Center and a silent auction at Jungle Island.

Art Concept

1-10 p.m. Nov. 30-Dec. 3 and 1-6 p.m. Dec. 4 at Bayfront Park at Chopin Plaza, 301 Biscayne Blvd., Miami. $15, $30 for festival pass; 305-791-2990 or NextLevelFairs.com/Concept.

The folks behind Art Palm Beach and Art Boca Raton are debuting this 50,000-square-foot satellite, a doughnut-shaped tent in Bayfront Park stuffed with works by architect Richard Meier, painter Robert Rauschenberg and a sculpture garden inspired by Bayfront Park designer Isamu Noguchi.

Conception Art Fair

Noon-8 p.m. Dec. 2-3 and Noon-6 p.m. Dec. 4 at 31 NW 23rd St., Miami. $20-$40. 917-696-7327 or ConceptionArtFair.com.

This new Wynwood fair, whose organizers are all women, focuses on street-art murals and graffiti-inspired paintings by women and minorities, including Miami artists Maria Laura Ribiera and Tom Criswell.

Music

Like every concert during Miami Art Week, the following shows are all Art Basel-themed.

"Kansas City Choir Boy," various times from Nov. 30 to Dec. 11 at Adrienne Arsht Center, 1300 Biscayne Blvd., Miami. $85; 305-949-6722 or ArshtCenter.org.

Hard-edged rocker Courtney Love cuts a soft-edged presence in this hourlong musical, a music-theater duet with Todd Almond, who wrote the music and lyrics. Various media outlets have described the show as a murder mystery set to indie-rock, a string quartet and a chorus of dancers.

Resident Advisor at Art Basel, 10 p.m. Nov. 30 - 6 a.m. Dec. 1 at the Factory at Magic City Studios, 6300 NE Fourth Ave., Miami. $15-$60; ResidentAdvisor.net.

The British online electronic music magazine Resident Advisor will throw a warehouse party led by Floating Points, the moniker of English DJ and neuroscientist Sam Shepherd, along with DJ sets by Chicago veteran Black Madonna and L.A. disco-funk artist Dam-Funk.

Patrick and the Swayzees (2-6 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 1; $33.33), Afrobeta (7-11 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 1; $7.77) and Millionyoung (8-11 p.m. Friday, Dec. 2; $11.11) at Superfine! the Fairest Fair, 56 NE 29th St., Miami. Superfine.World.

The loose, freewheeling fair Superfine!, which debuted in 2015 in Little Haiti, moves to Wynwood with sets by Key West surf-rockers Patrick and the Swayzees, the always-funky Miami electronica duo Afrobeta and Coral Springs chillwave wizard Millionyoung.

III Points Art Basel Concert Series, 10 p.m. Nov. 30–6 a.m. Dec. 1 at the Factory at Magic City Studios, 6300 NE Fourth Ave., Miami. $30-$40; Showclix.com and IIIPoints.com.

Not content with delivering the likes of Method Man, Redman and DJ Flying Lotus to its festival in October, III Points will trot out its Art Basel series with Grammy-nominated singer James Blake, promoting his new album, "The Colour in Everything." Blake will also appear as one member of 1-800 Dinosaur, the grime act he formed in 2013 with members of the British music scene. On the concert series bill for Friday, Dec. 2: Norwegian DJ Todd Terje and British electronic producer Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs.

How to navigate Miami Art Week

Use the Pay-by-Phone app: For painless metered parking in Wynwood and beyond, download the Miami Parking Authority's Pay by Phone app for Android, Blackberry and iPhone. Once you park, launch the app, punch in the location number and duration, and you're done.

Know where to drive and park: Parking is ample in the garage at Perez Art Museum Miami (1103 Biscayne Blvd.; $2 per hour). From there, hop the Miami Metrorail that loops around downtown Miami, or take the Miami Trolley at Northeast 15th Street, which will travel north on Biscayne Boulevard and double-back at Northwest 29th Street, the north end of the Wywnood Art District. Exiting into Wynwood or the Design District? Avoid the North Miami Avenue exit from I-395 (everyone exits there) and consider the Biscayne exit instead. We've found free street parking between Northwest 36th and Northwest 29th streets and between North Miami Avenue and I-95. Parking is also rough near the homebase of Art Basel Miami Beach, the Miami Beach Convention Center, currently under a $615 million renovation that will last until 2018.

Pack supplies: Bring the obvious rations (bottled water, bananas and trail mix), but also survival gear (portable power bank for your smartphone, garbage bags, a jacket for possible chilly weather).

Know what's free (and what isn't): Art Basel Miami Beach is not ($50-$105), and most rooftop parties require a VIP stamp or a close friendship with a Kardashian. Most satellite fairs cost between $7 and $40, and only one is free: Ink Miami (1850 Collins Ave., Miami).

Avoid driving: Download the Uber and Lyft apps for Apple and Android. Both offer promo credits for first-time users, which can be found with a Google search. Here's one: New riders get $5 off their first 10 rides with code “PAMM." 

WTF

Here's a bonus section dedicated to a pair of head-scratching exhibitions during Miami Art Week.

"F+++ K It"

3-10 p.m. Dec. 1; noon-10 p.m. Dec. 2-3; and noon-6 p.m. Dec. 4 at Satellite Miami Beach, 1510 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; Satellite-Show.com.

Jen Catron and Paul Outlaw's sculpture, found in front of the Parisian Hotel, is a 25-foot-tall cereal bowl of whole milk. The outsize bowl will be filled with "floating sugary charms," according to the artists' statement, as an "homage to the most mundane yet extraordinary ritual of pouring milk into a cereal bowl" and a reaction to the "cultural gluttony found within and beyond Art Basel Miami Beach." We'd hate to hear Catron and Outlaw's opinion of Count Chocula.

"Huffer Collective: Save Your Selves"

7-10 p.m. Nov. 29 and 10 a.m.-7 p.m. Nov. 28-Dec. 3 at Locust Projects, 3852 N. Miami Ave., Miami. Free. 305-576-8570 or LocustProjects.org.

A metal pyramid protruding from the center of the gallery functions as an altar of only-in-Miami memories from the Huffer Collective, the artist trio of David Anasagasti, aka muralist Ahol Sniffs Glue, Jason Handelsman and Swampdog). Their pyramid of keepsakes includes bootleg video tapes of punk icon GG Allin, an urn containing a pet dog's ashes, a Little League trophy; and a collection of old zines. In a companion installation, "Controlled Deliveries," the Huffer trio parody the United States Postal Service by mailing boxes of artworks to one another's studios across South Florida. On display in the gallery are the unopened packages: dented, covered in stamps and altered by the artists with hot sauce and glued-on pinecones.

pvalys@southflorida.com or 954-356-4364

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