How to navigate Miami Art Week

 

Use the Pay-by-Phone app: For painless metered parking in Wynwood and beyond, download the Miami Parking Authority's Pay by Phone app for Android, Blackberry and iPhone. Once you park, launch the app, punch in the location number and duration, and you're done.

Know where to drive and park: Parking is ample in the garage at Perez Art Museum Miami (1103 Biscayne Blvd.; $2 per hour). From there, hop the Miami Metrorail that loops around downtown Miami, or take the Miami Trolley at Northeast 15th Street, which will travel north on Biscayne Boulevard and double-back at Northwest 29th Street, the north end of the Wywnood Art District. Exiting into Wynwood or the Design District? Avoid the North Miami Avenue exit from I-395 (everyone exits there) and consider the Biscayne exit instead. We've found free street parking between Northwest 36th and Northwest 29th streets and between North Miami Avenue and I-95. Parking is also rough near the homebase of Art Basel Miami Beach, the Miami Beach Convention Center, currently under a $615 million renovation that will last until 2018.

Pack supplies: Bring the obvious rations (bottled water, bananas and trail mix), but also survival gear (portable power bank for your smartphone, garbage bags, a jacket for possible chilly weather).

Know what's free (and what isn't): Art Basel Miami Beach is not ($50-$105), and most rooftop parties require a VIP stamp or a close friendship with a Kardashian. Most satellite fairs cost between $7 and $40, and only one is free: Ink Miami (1850 Collins Ave., Miami).

Avoid driving: Download the Uber and Lyft apps for Apple and Android. Both offer promo credits for first-time users, which can be found with a Google search. Here's one: New riders get $5 off their first 10 rides with code “PAMM." 

WTF

Here's a bonus section dedicated to a pair of head-scratching exhibitions during Miami Art Week.

"F+++ K It"

3-10 p.m. Dec. 1; noon-10 p.m. Dec. 2-3; and noon-6 p.m. Dec. 4 at Satellite Miami Beach, 1510 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; Satellite-Show.com.

Jen Catron and Paul Outlaw's sculpture, found in front of the Parisian Hotel, is a 25-foot-tall cereal bowl of whole milk. The outsize bowl will be filled with "floating sugary charms," according to the artists' statement, as an "homage to the most mundane yet extraordinary ritual of pouring milk into a cereal bowl" and a reaction to the "cultural gluttony found within and beyond Art Basel Miami Beach." We'd hate to hear Catron and Outlaw's opinion of Count Chocula.

"Huffer Collective: Save Your Selves"

7-10 p.m. Nov. 29 and 10 a.m.-7 p.m. Nov. 28-Dec. 3 at Locust Projects, 3852 N. Miami Ave., Miami. Free. 305-576-8570 or LocustProjects.org.

A metal pyramid protruding from the center of the gallery functions as an altar of only-in-Miami memories from the Huffer Collective, the artist trio of David Anasagasti, aka muralist Ahol Sniffs Glue, Jason Handelsman and Swampdog). Their pyramid of keepsakes includes bootleg video tapes of punk icon GG Allin, an urn containing a pet dog's ashes, a Little League trophy; and a collection of old zines. In a companion installation, "Controlled Deliveries," the Huffer trio parody the United States Postal Service by mailing boxes of artworks to one another's studios across South Florida. On display in the gallery are the unopened packages: dented, covered in stamps and altered by the artists with hot sauce and glued-on pinecones.

pvalys@southflorida.com or 954-356-4364

Follow SouthFlorida.com on Twitter, Facebook and Snapchat.

Copyright © 2016, South Florida
70°