It's now official: When it comes to the fiscal-cliff-diving of New Year’s Eve, there is no place in the country with the crazy range of offerings to rival South Florida.
The tipping point came when the folks at Cameo on South Beach created what they are calling “the most-expensive table in the country,” a package that will set you back $100,000. As in 1,000 Benjamins.
The entertainment is by Atlanta-based, Haitian-American rapper Future, who’s biggest hit is the perfectly appropriate “Tony Montana,” and the table comes with admission for 50 to the club, 50 bottles of Moet Rose, 10 bottles of Belvedere, “multiple bottles” of Hennessy VS and a night for you and four friends with Future at his recording studio.
Or you could just sit on the side of Southwest Second Street in downtown Fort Lauderdale waving a sparkler with your kid for free. Here’s a look at the wonderful yin and yang of New Year’s Eve in South Florida. Prices are the minimum cost for a single entry.
Pitbull: Mr. 305 plays the big house in his hometown, and says he hopes to make an annual event of the AmericanAirlines Arena show, set to be broadcast on the AXS channel, the new Ryan Seacrest-Mark Cuban repackaging of the HDNet channel. Tickets: $70.65-$197 at Ticketmaster. Hit the link for a Pitbull interview on his New Year's Eve concert.
First Night in Delray Beach: Pitbull may well create a signature South Florida New Year’s Eve event, but he has a way to go to match Delray Beach’s First Night, a 4-p.m. to midnight, family-friendly event with performances and activities in 21 venues indoors and out. Amber Leigh highlights the entertainment. Tickets/buttons: $10 advance, $15 at gate. Info: DelrayBeachFirstNight.com, 561-279-1379, ext. 17.
Drake: The crooner-rapper, who can perform pretty much anywhere he wants, will do it poolside at the Fontainebleau (4441 Collins, Miami Beach). Tickets begin at $250 and end at $25,000 (and the $2,000 tip) for you and 17 friends. Info: DrakeNewYearsEve.com.
Kid Rock: Think of him as Ryan Seacrest for that uniquely American brand of fun-loving, Jack-spilling hoedown. Guaranteed good times beginning at 9:30 p.m. at Hard Rock Live (5747 Seminole Way, Hollywood). Tickets: $114.50, $164.50. Info: HardRockLiveHollywoodFL.com, 954-797-5531.
The Revivalists: This New Orleans-spawned band, which produces a modern bluesy-Southern vibe that would fit nicely on Kid Rock’s iPod, performs with Stokeswood at the Stage (170 NE 38th St., Miami). Tickets: $20 advance, $25 at the door. Info: TheStageMiami.com, 305-576-9577.
Kool and the Gang: Will there be a better party setlist anywhere than the one that includes “Hollywood Swinging,” “Jungle Boogie,” “Get Down on It” and, of course, “Celebration” at Seminole Casino Coconut Creek (5550 NW 40th St.)? Tickets: $104.70-$125. Info: SeminoleCoconutCreekCasino.com, 954-977-6700.
Gerry Kelly, Karina Smirnoff, Spam Allstars: The king of South Beach nightlife lavishness joins forces with “Dancing With the Stars” mover-and-shaker Smirnoff (pictured at top) and the unassuming DJ Le Spam and his merry band of pranksters at the telegenic Catalina Hotel (1732 Collins Ave., Miami Beach). Tickets: $95. Info: CatalinaHotel.com/NYE2013, 305-674-1160.
Doug E. Fresh and Slick Rick: The Get Fresh Crew alums reunite for beat-box classics such as “The Show” and “La Di Da Di” at the Shore Club (1901 Collins, Miami Beach). Tickets: $100. Info: TheShoreClub.com.
The Romantics: You want classic nostalgia at a fraction of the cost? The Romantics will perform “What I Like About You,” and other songs that got airplay back in the day in a free show at 11:30 p.m. in the Nectar Lounge at Seminole Casino Coconut Creek (5550 NW 40th St.). Info: SeminoleCoconutCreekCasino.com, 954-977-6700.
Orange Bowl Downtown Countdown: Fort Lauderdale’s Himmarshee District is home to the biggest free street party in South Florida, with kids' events from 4:30 to 8 p.m. (ball drop and countdown at 7 p.m.), and grown-up sights and sounds (Big City Dogs and Brass Evolution) until 1 a.m., plus the downtown fireworks at midnight. Info: FortLauderdale.gov, 954-828-5363.
B.B. King: The man, the legend, the guitar at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts. Tickets cost $59.50-$99.50, but maybe this is the night you try the new Club Level seats, with access to your own cushy bar ($139.50). And, remember, you’ll be perfectly positioned to catch the downtown fireworks after the 9 p.m. show. Info: BrowardCenter.org, 954-462-0222.
Junior Drinkwater: The beloved South Florida bluesman performs at a party flying the well-traveled Backroom Blues Bar flag at the classy 75 Main restaurant (270 E. Atlantic Ave., Delray Beach). Tickets: $50, with open bar. Info: Facebook.com/75MainDelray, 561-243-7975.
Future: The Auto-Tuned up-and-comer has done prominent cameos with the likes of Rhianna and Ciara, and the South Beach New Year’s Eve show at Cameo (1445 Washington Ave., Miami Beach) was the inevitable next step. Tickets: $250. And, of course, there’s the $100,000 table, if you have company in town. Info: CameoMiami.com, 786-235-5800.
Santigold: The former Wesleyan student (below) will bring danceable social commentary to the poolside at the Delano Beach Club at the iconic South Beach hotel (1685 Collins Ave., Miami Beach). Tickets: $150. Info: LightGroup.com, 305-924-4071, e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.
Talib Kweli: More cerebral fun with the Brooklyn rapper can be found elsewhere at the Delano, downstairs at FDR. Tickets: $100, or $200 for access to Santigold’s show, too. Info: LightGroup.com, 305-924-4071, e-mail email@example.com.
Sex Sells! That’s the name of the party at Opium at the Hard Rock (5729 Seminole Way, Hollywood). The theme will be driven home by two hosts, Abella Anderson and Diamond Kitty, who have achieved some fame in the adult-film industry. We are told. Tickets: $50 (ladies), $100 (guys), with open bar. Info: OpiumClub.com, 954-327-9094.
Masquerade Ball: There is a palpable sexiness to the Gerber Group’s annual New Year’s Eve Masquerade Ball at Whiskey Blue and Living Room at W Fort Lauderdale (401 N. Fort Lauderdale Beach Blvd., Fort Lauderdale). Bring your own mask (black and white is the theme) or take one of theirs. Tickets: $125, with open bar. Info: WFortLauderdaleHotel.com, 954-414-8300 or email Ranfossi@GerberBars.com.
Clematis Countdown: The annual West Palm Beach street party features glazed-over Miami rockers the Jacuzzi Boys, as well as New Coke, the Resolvers and “body-painted naked gogo-dancing aliens” in the 500 block of West Palm Beach’s main drag. Tickets: $10. Info: Facebook.com/RespectableStreet.
Locos por Juana: One of our favorite South Florida noisemakers performs at the “urban beach house” known as the Hoxton (1111 SW First Ave., Miami), which is throwing a “Magic City”-themed party filled with retro, late-’50s swagger. Dinner packages begin at $85. Info: HoxtonMiami.com, 305-677-8466.
Shwayze: The party-rocking SoCal rapper performs poolside at the Shelbourne (1801 Collins Ave., Miami Beach). Tickets: $95, with open bar. Info: Shelbourne.com, 305-531-1271.
Julio Iglesias Jr.: Because the folks at the upscale karaoke nightspot Jelsomino (247 23rd St., Miami Beach) thought that you might be too intimidated to sing in front of Julio the Elder, they are hosting the son. Tickets: $200. Info: Facebook.com/JelsominoMiami, 305-673-7757.
Carl Cox, Calvin Harris: If it’s globally relevant DJs with whom you’d like to ring in the new year, that’s the specialty in these parts. House music icon Cox, no stranger to South Florida, spins Mansion (1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach). Tickets: $250: Info: TheOpiumGroup/nye2013, 305-531-5535. The stylish Harris spins at LIV nightclub at the Fontainebleau (4441 Collins). Tickets: $375 (ladies), $475 (guys). Info: LivNightclub.com, 305-674-4680.