Enter for your chance to win 4 LEGOLAND Florida passes and a So Fruitty prize package

2012 fashion trends that were apocalyptic

Guest Blogger

One of the things I always looked forward to this time of year was the "Year in SoFlo Fashion" that my gal-pal Joanie Cox-Henry would write for City Link.

I begged her to do it one mo' time for me because I can't replicate her panache (no matter how hard I try).

So here are her thoughts on 2012...and some of the trends that made it seem like the world was actually ending:

Every year comes with its ups and downs but fashion for 2012 was borderline apocalyptic at times. But unlike the Mayans predicted, this too shall pass. Thank God it’s 2013 and we no longer have to look at:

1. Sharp talon-like claw nails. Lady Gaga and Rihanna rocked this pointy nail trend that left us scratching our heads and our eyes out.

2. Dip-Dyed hair. Christina Aguilera, Katy Perry, Britney Spears, Kelly Osbourne, Avril Lavigne and Nicki Minaj all dipped their locks in cotton candy colored paint. Ladies, let’s just give props to Rainbow Brite and admit this look only worked on her.

3. Wedge sneakers. Whether you got them in white, red or black or clutch the pearls, metallic Velcro—these orthopedic-inspired shoes were an injury on the eyes.

4. Ugly Christmas Sweaters. OK, I get it. That Rock Your Ugly Christmas Sweater book came out and suddenly everyone was wearing a jacked up holiday sweater to their party. But this trend is as tired as the reindeer pulling Santa’s sled on these knitted nightmares. On a lighter note, some people wear their ugly Christmas sweaters not knowing it’s ugly and that, on the other hand, will never go out of style.

5. Forever Lazy. There seems to be a whole sub-genre now for lazy ass people who want to appear dressed but aren’t. This fleecy adult onesie joins the Snuggie and Pajama Jeans as another hideous fashion item that should’ve never been invented. The Forever Lazy is advertised on its website as something perfect to wear to a tailgating party. But my advice is to throw this on the grill instead of the hot dogs.

On a happier note, iconic Swedish fashion brand H&M finally reached expansion in South Florida after a much anticipated wait. Hennes & Mauritz (H&M) opened on Lincoln Road in Miami Beach Nov. 8 and in Aventura Mall Dec. 14.

While the Palm Beach Gardens location was the first to arrive in South Florida in 2010, H&M wasn’t officially a South Florida style-staple until it hit the 305. Hundreds of hipsters, tweens and fashionistas who are Forever 31 waited in Disney World-like lines that meandered from H&M’s storefront all the way to Macy’s.

Then on Dec. 1 Neiman Marcus launched its first ever collection with Target. When Missoni for Target launched in 2011, I was trying to order items from the collection on Target’s website as I was being wheeled into surgery. I wasn’t taking any chances with the Target/Neiman launch. I awoke at 6 a.m. to make it to Neiman Marcus in Boca Raton in time for the 8 a.m. opening. It was the first time Target merchandise was also available outside of Target. When I got there, wristbands, bottled water and Neiman Marcus’s signature chocolate chip cookies were being passed around.

I waited in line with my friend. As the doors opened, we strategically stormed the Tory Burch lunch boxes, Marc Jacobspouches and Proenza Schouler sweatshirts. In the end, I was shocked to see the stuff hadn’t really moved much from the shelves at Target. Now the collection is available in Target stores, on and for 50 percent off. As the Tracy Reese, dessert plates, ruffled Robert Rodriguez blouses and Derek Lam skateboards wait to get snatched up by spending-savvy fashion fans, I weep inside out of fear my two favorite stores won’t collaborate again.

Copyright © 2018, South Florida